Albert Banico, 2004, mla
BS Journalism; MS General Sociology
If you love being in the company of gossipers and get excited whenever there are new gossip in town, circulating in your community or offices, definitely, this article is for you!!!
Gossips or rumors are common problems in any organization especially if communication is absent or inadequate.
Sources of Gossips
There are several causes of rumors and gossips. The most common are: fear, hatred, wishful thinking, jealousy, prejudice and selfishness.
People pass rumors to gain attention, to create excitement, to help them and to make others be interested in something he or she thinks that other persons want to hear.
Social Distinctions
If people in the neighborhood or in an organization are expected to exchange secrets and scandals, this norm will lead, at the very least, to a distinction between those who hold in high regard, those who really enjoy gossip, and those who offer tea and cakes as well, according to R. Dahrendorf, an American sociologist.
Motivations and Effects of Rumors
Of all gossips, those motivated by hatred and prejudice are the hardest to counter-act. Character assassination is one type of rumor that is very damaging. Gossips thrive and spread like wildfire and people easily believe them especially if they incite people to fear, to hate and to be hostile.
What Psychologists Say?
Psychologists emphasize that people who are not kept busy become nervous and anxious and if not well adjusted are more likely to be the source of rumors than others. This can be avoided by good channel of communication.
Lessons from Our History
Gossips would not be rumors if no one will do it and no one would like it. Historically, Filipinos love it because of our colonial past wherein our vulnerability and lack of freedom of speech resulted into different undesirable expressions.
Sociological Functions
Looking at the sociological functions of gossips and gossipers, we can find some interesting facts:
People don’t know how to use proper communication channels.
In relation to this, gossip exists because there is something wrong with the communication channel in an organization
Politically Correct?
In socio-political theory, gossips or rumors seem to be a means of social control mechanism in favor of those in authority to divide and rule the members in any social institution within our society.
Modern conflict theorist, like Randolf Dahrendorf, claim that gossip happens when the gossiper wants to control someone. It is born when someone desires to destroy the other person. By making gossip, rumors, chat, stories or any thing that will give attention, the gossiper gains certain power he wants. Therefore, it is a struggle for power. The result is the losing of one’s credibility at the expense of the other. If power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, gossip then deceives while sustained gossiping deceives us absolutely.
A Culture of Death
In 1983, Dr. Scott Peck, a psychologist and author of the best seller book entitled, “Road Less Travel,” earlier wrote a book entitled “The People of the Lie,” where he explained the nature of the psychology of evil and the hope for healing human evil within us. He explained that we human beings can become an incarnated evil once we manifest the darkness within us instead of the brighter side of us, which is our goodness.
On the other hand, gossiping as a habit is a sad trait and can be considered as part of the culture of death and a manifestation of that psychology of evil as coined by Dr. Peck. At the end, the worst victim is the last receiver of the said gossip.
Back to Kindergarten
Communication and self-respect are the most important elements in this situation. Anything that will improve the means and ways of communication reduces and prevents the possibility of prejudice, conflict and bias.
Proper use of communication, a good channel of communication and remembering what we have all learned from kindergarten can avoid this. As Robert Fulghum remind us;
Share everything
Play fair
Don’t hit
Put things back where you found them
Clean up your own mess
Don’t take things that aren’t yours
Say sorry when you hurt somebody
Wash your hands before you eat
Flush (Flush the urinals and the toilet bowl after we use them)
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you
Live a balanced life. Learn some, think some, draw, paint, sing, dance, play, and work everyday some.
Take a nap every afternoon (But of course don’t if you have class, if you are cooking or driving a car)
When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
With effective and kind communication, rumors can be handled and factual information is made available to all.
A Life Worth Living
There is commonality among great Asian beliefs from Buddhism to Confucian, in
Shintoism, Christianity or Taoism that in order to make a harmonious life, we must
always show our care and respect for life.
After all, as the Greek Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Sources:
Cedeno-Refareal, Lourdes, So God Created Man, 2003
Javier, Jessie, D. et al, Introductory Sociology and Anthropology, 2002
ASI Sociology Papers, Advanced Sociological Theories, 2002
Banico, AB, Human Relations Training Report, 2001
Banico, AB, Of Gossip and Gossipers, first printing 2001
Ritzer, Social Theory, 2001
Goleman, Daniel, Emotional Intelligence, 1995
The Holy Bible, King James Version, Philippine Bible Society, 1987
Scott, William, Dictionary of Sociology, 1988
Fulghum, Robert, All I Ever Really needed to know and Learned in Kindergarten, 1990
Dr. Peck, Scott, MD, The people of the Lie, 1983
Constantino, Renato, A Past Revisited, Volume I, 1975
Beteille, Inequality, 1974
Mills, C.Wright, Power, Politics and People, 1939
The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena, 1907
Plato, The Dialogue
BS Journalism; MS General Sociology
If you love being in the company of gossipers and get excited whenever there are new gossip in town, circulating in your community or offices, definitely, this article is for you!!!
Gossips or rumors are common problems in any organization especially if communication is absent or inadequate.
Sources of Gossips
There are several causes of rumors and gossips. The most common are: fear, hatred, wishful thinking, jealousy, prejudice and selfishness.
People pass rumors to gain attention, to create excitement, to help them and to make others be interested in something he or she thinks that other persons want to hear.
Social Distinctions
If people in the neighborhood or in an organization are expected to exchange secrets and scandals, this norm will lead, at the very least, to a distinction between those who hold in high regard, those who really enjoy gossip, and those who offer tea and cakes as well, according to R. Dahrendorf, an American sociologist.
Motivations and Effects of Rumors
Of all gossips, those motivated by hatred and prejudice are the hardest to counter-act. Character assassination is one type of rumor that is very damaging. Gossips thrive and spread like wildfire and people easily believe them especially if they incite people to fear, to hate and to be hostile.
What Psychologists Say?
Psychologists emphasize that people who are not kept busy become nervous and anxious and if not well adjusted are more likely to be the source of rumors than others. This can be avoided by good channel of communication.
Lessons from Our History
Gossips would not be rumors if no one will do it and no one would like it. Historically, Filipinos love it because of our colonial past wherein our vulnerability and lack of freedom of speech resulted into different undesirable expressions.
Sociological Functions
Looking at the sociological functions of gossips and gossipers, we can find some interesting facts:
People don’t know how to use proper communication channels.
In relation to this, gossip exists because there is something wrong with the communication channel in an organization
Politically Correct?
In socio-political theory, gossips or rumors seem to be a means of social control mechanism in favor of those in authority to divide and rule the members in any social institution within our society.
Modern conflict theorist, like Randolf Dahrendorf, claim that gossip happens when the gossiper wants to control someone. It is born when someone desires to destroy the other person. By making gossip, rumors, chat, stories or any thing that will give attention, the gossiper gains certain power he wants. Therefore, it is a struggle for power. The result is the losing of one’s credibility at the expense of the other. If power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, gossip then deceives while sustained gossiping deceives us absolutely.
A Culture of Death
In 1983, Dr. Scott Peck, a psychologist and author of the best seller book entitled, “Road Less Travel,” earlier wrote a book entitled “The People of the Lie,” where he explained the nature of the psychology of evil and the hope for healing human evil within us. He explained that we human beings can become an incarnated evil once we manifest the darkness within us instead of the brighter side of us, which is our goodness.
On the other hand, gossiping as a habit is a sad trait and can be considered as part of the culture of death and a manifestation of that psychology of evil as coined by Dr. Peck. At the end, the worst victim is the last receiver of the said gossip.
Back to Kindergarten
Communication and self-respect are the most important elements in this situation. Anything that will improve the means and ways of communication reduces and prevents the possibility of prejudice, conflict and bias.
Proper use of communication, a good channel of communication and remembering what we have all learned from kindergarten can avoid this. As Robert Fulghum remind us;
Share everything
Play fair
Don’t hit
Put things back where you found them
Clean up your own mess
Don’t take things that aren’t yours
Say sorry when you hurt somebody
Wash your hands before you eat
Flush (Flush the urinals and the toilet bowl after we use them)
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you
Live a balanced life. Learn some, think some, draw, paint, sing, dance, play, and work everyday some.
Take a nap every afternoon (But of course don’t if you have class, if you are cooking or driving a car)
When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.
With effective and kind communication, rumors can be handled and factual information is made available to all.
A Life Worth Living
There is commonality among great Asian beliefs from Buddhism to Confucian, in
Shintoism, Christianity or Taoism that in order to make a harmonious life, we must
always show our care and respect for life.
After all, as the Greek Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Sources:
Cedeno-Refareal, Lourdes, So God Created Man, 2003
Javier, Jessie, D. et al, Introductory Sociology and Anthropology, 2002
ASI Sociology Papers, Advanced Sociological Theories, 2002
Banico, AB, Human Relations Training Report, 2001
Banico, AB, Of Gossip and Gossipers, first printing 2001
Ritzer, Social Theory, 2001
Goleman, Daniel, Emotional Intelligence, 1995
The Holy Bible, King James Version, Philippine Bible Society, 1987
Scott, William, Dictionary of Sociology, 1988
Fulghum, Robert, All I Ever Really needed to know and Learned in Kindergarten, 1990
Dr. Peck, Scott, MD, The people of the Lie, 1983
Constantino, Renato, A Past Revisited, Volume I, 1975
Beteille, Inequality, 1974
Mills, C.Wright, Power, Politics and People, 1939
The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena, 1907
Plato, The Dialogue
1 comment:
How did a gossip or rumor started? What is the reason why gossips and rumors spread easily? What is their reason for spreading those kind of talks? These are some of the questions that pops into my mind whenever i hear someone spread a gossip about someone, something or about me. Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars. Most gossip is a distorted and far-fetched story derived from a small reality. Some see gossip as trivial, hurtful and socially and/or intellectually unproductive. It also refers to as backbiting, and condemns and prohibits the practice, viewing it as a cause of disunity. Gossips can really turn out so bad that it will make things worst not better. I knew someone not so close to me is really good at those things. Why do I so? Because every little thing about every person even not close to her, she has something to say about them. Its really funny because we don't even know if she is telling the truth or not. It's just hurting when she starts talking about someone when in fact the rumors about that someone is not true. I would just want to say to her "JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" I think that it is a bad habit for someone to talk about someone some isuues which are not true. We should learn how to sensitive with those things because we don't even know that everytime we spread rumors or gossips we hurt someone. I think also that it is a sickness that spreads in our society. The lesson is to learn how to respect others. If someone has their opinion respect them as well. Open communication is important as well.
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